Frustration Ventilation

Thursday, January 31, 2002

Life ain't easy when you're all alone.
No friends, no family, no place to call home.
No one there to give you advice.
No one there to guide you through life.
No one to bring you up when you're down.
No one to lend a hand when you're on the ground.
No one to chill with 3:47 at night.
No one to back you if you get in a fight.
Can anyone out there relate to this poem?
If you can, remember, one day you'll show 'em.
You'll show them what you're capable of,
Then they'll all come back, begging for your love.

Wednesday, January 30, 2002

Why must I struggle to get out of bed?
Why are thoughts constantly running through my head?
Why do I have no goals or direction?
Why is it so hard just to pay some attention?
Why does no one try to assist me
Throught times of despare, hatred, and confusion?
Why is no one there for me?
My mother and father especially.
Why must they always make matters worse
By emphasizing my failures and restoring my hurt?
Why can't they ever be satisfied?
They'll probably find disappointment in me until the day that they die.

Why must you always do this to me?
One minute you love me, the next you ignore me.
I don't think I did anything to hurt you.
If I did I am sorry, will you accept my apology?
I thought I was good to you, I thought we were friends.
Confide in each other until the end.
Apparently, however, this is not the case.
You're a liar, a fake. You're fucking two-faced.

If you open your eyes
I think you'll realize
Everyone's disguise
Used to hide the pain in their lives.

It's now 2 p.m. and I still lie motionless in my bed.
I've been awake since noon, but I know I won't get up any time soon.
Why should I? I have nothing to look foward to.
I might as well just stay here and listen to some tunes.
They're the only thing that gets me through the day,
Unless I smoke pot or take shots, they make the pain go away.